Ultimate Tantric Massage London is an un-rushed massage service, meant to balance your body and mind. If you are looking for a relaxing, sensual massage experience, and not just a Happy Ending, then this is the place to go to!
One hour with Ella is more than a massage, it's an experience. Therefore, "The Ella Experience".
To understand, you have to experience... Relaxation is an art!
Ellaxp (The Ella Experience) is happy to receive her guests in her comfortable flat in Central London, during the day and early evenings. Advanced booking recommended to get the time that suits you best. Morning appointments possible, but please book at least one day before.
Ella's Tantric massages are soothing, therapeutic and sensual at the same time. You can learn more about the Tantric philosophy, the Tantric control techniques or you can just lie and enjoy the massage. It's up to you!
One month. Four courses. Relationship and intimacy wisdom you won't find anywhere else that will change your perspective forever.
School may be out but your intimacy and relationship education is just beginning. Prioritize your relational well-being with Esther Perel's first public relationship workshop in July 2014. Book now to get 15%. More info on her workshop can be found on:
Esther Perel is one of the world's most original and insightful voices on personal and professional relationship.She is the best-selling author of "Mating In Captivity". She is a practicing psychotherapist and according to New York Times, she is the most important game changer on sexuality and relationship. Find out more about her on http://www.estherperel.com/about/
When you book a tantric massage, there are 3 aspects to take into consideration:
1. You've got to know exactly what the massage entails and what the masseuse is willing to do, not to push your luck.
2. Your attitude towards the whole experience (manners, approach, conversation and the ability to surrender to the whole experience - remember, you are not going to be in charge! If you can't let go and want to play the boss, check if that's on, first!!! )
3 Hygiene - this is paramount! Consider that if you don't smell fresh, your session will be cut off with a few good minutes, and the masseuse will have a tendency to stay away from you, rather than get closer to you. If you had a shower in the morning, and now it's 7pm, even if you know you are not the sweaty guy, do jump in the shower for a rinse. Don't forget to pay extra attention to your genital organs and under the arms. If you think your breath has been compromised, ask for a chewing gum or just rub a bit of toothpaste on your teeth (it's always left handy in any bathroom)
When it comes to deep breath, please don't exhale on the masseuse! No matter how hot the session is, no one wants to inhale a stale breath or smell the flavour of your last meal. Would you?
For some of you, all of the above must sound like Kindergarten drills, I know!! Believe me, half of the people I see in a day lack the hygiene concept.
Do you consider yourself a clean guy? one shower per day? that's great! When your skin doesn't come into direct contact with a girl's body, one shower per day would do. In a massage, once you get your kit off, your pores start to breathe and let go of the trapped sweat.
So 2 mins in the shower will definitely make a difference for your Tantric massage experience. Don't miss it!
Psychologist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the world’s most original and insightful voices on couples and sexuality across cultures. Her best-selling and award-winning book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic, has been translated into 24 languages. Here’s what she had to say on:
100 years ago, intimacy was simply living together, sharing the companionship and vicissitudes of life. Today, “into me see” is about transcending your existential aloneness by sharing your inner life with another. My experience of closeness with you is my ability to share my feelings, fears, aspirations and dreams with you, and for you to be reflective, to validate me, to make me feel like I matter, because I’m sharing my most precious property – my inner life – with you.
Attraction is how much we are drawn in by a person, by their looks, their energy, their radiance, their intelligence; how much they elicit (in us) a sense of wonder, curiosity and aesthetics.
Desire likes meeting with the unknown, mystery, and surprise. It needs space, otherness and difference to thrive. It needs a bridge to cross and somebody to visit on the other side.
Love likes to know the beloved, to narrow the gap, to neutralise the threat, to minimise the distance. Love wants mutuality, reciprocity, care and responsibility.
Desire versus Love
Those ingredients that are central to Love can often stifle Desire, because if you feel too responsible for someone, worry too much about them, if they make you anxious, then you cannot retreat into your own playful, imaginative, exploratory world in order to experience pleasure and excitement, to play sexually, and then experience the pleasure of being with another.
Possessiveness does not have much to do with Love. It’s really about Patriarchy. It’s about a power structure in society. Real love is the ability to let the other person go, rather than to want to own them. At most, your partner is on loan with an option to renew, but they never belong to you.
Freedom versus Control
On some level, possessiveness and control are reactions to a profound anxiety that you may lose the other person. We hope to diminish our fear of losing the other by trying to own them, to possess them, to control them; but people are more likely to stay and to come back voluntarily when they feel free than when they feel controlled.
In the western world today, consumerism is seeping into relationship thinking.
Is this the best choice? Is this the best I can find? Is this the right time? Will I lose my freedom? We have been so conditioned to develop our choices and autonomy that there is a greater fear for people to partner.
Usually, in a couple, one person is more afraid to lose the other (fear of abandonment), and the other is more afraid to lose themselves (fear of suffocation). We all need both connection and separateness, but some of us come out of our childhood needing more space, and some of us come out of our childhood needing more protection and connection; and we tend to partner with the person on the other side.
Some people are afraid to come too close because they are afraid of losing someone they’ve grown to love, and so they avoid the chance of being hurt. Then there are those who expected a relationship to make everything in their life perfect, and when it only changes one part of their life, they become disillusioned and then avoid any chance of being disappointed again.
New Model of Commitment
Some people who are afraid of commitment in a romantic relationship can be lifelong loyal friends, and be deeply committed to their family or their work. A fear of commitment doesn’t necessarily stretch across all areas of your life. It may be that the model of commitment you are being asked to adhere to doesn’t work for you. Some people may make a better partnership by not moving in together, for example.
Erotic couples respect each other’s erotic privacy. They understand that there are thoughts, drives, desires and fantasies that belong to the other and that are a part of their own intimacy with themselves. We need an intimacy with ourselves and an intimacy with our partner, and they live side by side.
Turn Yourself On
Knowing how to turn yourself on is essential. Instead of saying: “He/she turns me off/on when…,” I ask my clients to use the phrase: “I turn myself off/on when…” And what I hear from them is basically: “I turn myself off when I don’t take care of myself and I feel dead inside,” and, “I turn myself on when I feel alive, when my senses and curiosity are awakened, when I’m open.” What do you do to awaken your aliveness, your senses, your sexuality? If you don’t do that first, your partner may jump through hoops but you won’t necessarily respond.
Tantra is about the connection between consciousness, energy and breath, which a lot of lovers do not know about. They are very focused on genital orgasm, and have everything to learn from a tradition that talks about the whole body, and understands that breath can awaken you in very different ways than just manual stimulation.
I don’t see sex as something we do. I see sex as a place we go. Sexuality is a space you enter with yourself and with others. Many people can do sex but feel nothing. No one ever complains because they want more sex where they feel nothing; it’s always about better sex. “Better” means they want to reconnect with the quality of aliveness, vibrancy, vitality, renewal, playfulness and connection that they used to experience, or that they hoped they one day would.
Self-expression in sex has to do with where you go in yourself, what parts of yourself you connect to, what gets expressed in sex. Is it the part of you that’s more infantile, that wants to be taken care of, that likes to be more powerful, dominant and in control, that likes to be naughty and rebellious, that seeks to transcend the borders of your physicality in a spiritual union? “Where do you want to go in sex?” is the question you want to ask.
Contraception allows us, for the first time, to socialise sexuality, to think of it not as a property of biology and nature but as a property of oneself; so, we get to make decisions about it. With contraception, we get to decide when we want to have children. That is a revolutionary historic change.
Child centrality has never been so acute as it is today. We want our children to have our attention and our availability 24/7. So, it takes collaboration and creativity to be able to marry a romantic model that wants time, intimacy, sexuality and communication for the adult couple with this child centrality we are embracing. Both partners need to be able to set boundaries in which they agree: “Now, it’s our time.”
It’s very important that you create a space for the adults, including an erotic space, which means you can relax, be playful, not be part of Management Inc., and be in the zone of pleasure, which may or may not include sex.
If we preserve the couple, we preserve the family.
If anyone has heard the word Tantra or Tantric massage, it's usually followed by giggles and blushes, a few seconds of silence and then a change of subject. There is a big void on info in the media. Reading a book on Tantra doesn't help much either - you've got to experience it to be able to talk about it.
So what makes Tantra so special? and why do people give you that look when you drop this word in a casual conversation?
Tantra brings knowledge (theory) and awareness (practise) about your own sexuality. Nobody taught us about it in school, this is an opportunity for you to educate yourself and embrace the true potential of you whole being.
When it comes to food, we all want the healthiest and tastiest food to nourish ourselves. When it comes to clothes, we want the nicest and finest fabrics to cover us. When it comes to sex, we don't want more sex and feel nothing. We all want "better" sex and we are afraid to ask for it. Sex is not something we do, it's a place we go. It's a space you enter with yourself and others.
"Tantra is about the connection between consciousness, energy and breath, which a lot of lovers do not know about. They are very focused on genital orgasm, and have everything to learn from a tradition that talks about the whole body, and understands that breath can awaken you in very different ways than just manual stimulation." (Esther Perel)
In a Tantric massage, you have the opportunity to build up your body awareness and experience intimacy on another level, not just physical. Your level of awareness is higher and the way you perceive sexual energy is more elevated. This is what makes Tantra so special. We are all craving for intimacy. Besides letting you see into me, we also want to be able to share a unique, sacred space with our lover, a space where I can be reflective, awaken, playful , feel safe and loved.